So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
