Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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