what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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