1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
