Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
