dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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