And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
