try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
