I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i drank out of a bidet.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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