I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
