i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
