I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
