kristin has been a bad kristin
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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