every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
