It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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