You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
