I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
