Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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