goodnight i made you a song goodbye
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
