Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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