Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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