I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
