at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i need to put some appletini on your dick
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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