Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
