I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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