Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think I am morally bankrupt
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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