You really coming over, don't trick.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
