So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
