My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
