I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
