I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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