Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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