Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
