are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
