forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
