yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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