I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
