My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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