11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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