I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
