you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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