I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
