If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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