matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
