Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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