Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
