He is such a slut. More and more my type.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
