hotel room ftw
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
