Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
