I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
