I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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