I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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