Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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